Oh my, Vamdas, was that innuendo? I wasn’t even aware you could be suggestive; I thought you preferred invasive commentary on other people’s relationships to making progress on your own.
HEY FUCK YOU. I JUST NEVER HAD ENOUGH OF A RELATIONSHIP TO MAKE PROGRESS IN, EVER THOUGHT OF THAT? NO ONE’S EVER BEEN MUTUALLY INTERESTED.
WAIT, FUCK, THAT CAME OUT WRONG. GODDAMMIT.
Vamdas, if you keep making this so easy for me I fear I may incinerate my laptop through the sheer force of my aura of smug superiority.
And no-one wants that. So can’t you try just a little harder, or is that an unreasonable expectation on my part?
I THINK EXPECTING ANYTHING OF YOU WOULD BE UNREASONABLE. ABOUT ALL YOU CAN DO IS KNIT AND SNARK IMPOTENTLY AT PEOPLE THROUGH COMPUTER SCREENS. NOT THAT IT’S ANY PROBLEM WITH ME, BUT IT LIMITS OUR INTERACTIONS A BIT.